July 6, 2013


the return to never ending futures
my wish to live forever fulfilled. spanning multiple timelines, we are slowly migrating to a future never repeating. across oceans, land of the Edges, cities in the sky, on distant planets, we are explorers.

January 14, 2013


strange sunsets

jumping through time, through endless corridors, up the sky mountains, through the cloud forests. the same theme recurring, majestic beauty.

as i spend my latter days foraging through memories, a few scattered encounters makes me happy, yearning for eternity. scandalous it maybe, its not from our times. in a different universe altogether, i traveled the oceans and admired new lands. flickering kisses under passionate street lights, the vague memories under foggy skies tug my heart to new directions.

my own feet, directionless, trying hard to prevent the fading time. hopefully soon i find this soul, tying all loose ends and living an eternity, under strange sunsets.

September 13, 2009


eternity shores

they sat there by the shores, looking up at the majestic nebula painted skies. life has led them wandering over many worlds, searching through time and many creations. colonies of humans set forth to every corner of the galaxy building new empires dreaming of everlasting civilizations. future histories written and for time eternity not shared among us, humans. life has found new shores, the heart remain lost. solitude cities bathed by ancient photons in many new solar systems, neon streets connecting pockets of hungry minds. great archeological discoveries litter the galactic museums, given prominence standing among earths greatest treasures. we still marvel this great universe, leaping from one insignificant time point to another. hungry and unsatisfied.

and the question remains, where are they, the ancient gods.

July 19, 2009


the caves of death/ idols
venturing again into this mysterious world of death caves after a few years. not sure what triggered this lucid but its as amazing and deep as ever.

we were driving through the city and the roads are running around in circles. many roads were closed, looked aged and withered. buildings appear like rock cut temples that ive seen in india, even the modern buildings have features and frescoes carved out of sandstones. the occasional monks and pockets of human activities.

stranger lives rise from some corners, some looking out of place in this now derelict city. i still have to figure why i met the people there at the side of the road, the first time i interacted and felt really scared afterward thinking of them. i fought with a man, gave up and finally bought whatever he was selling. just at the final moments to discover what he was doing, feeding of the dead. i walked away into the caves.

the death caves were huge, full of rock cut idols, and walls. the walls were prominent, littered with oil lamps and incense sticks. one of the room had a dead body which seems to have fossilised? and another cave chamber had a huge idol, of which on the legs i could see. the last of what i remember was walking around in the maze of chambers before seeing more people crawling around the pathways.

June 3, 2009


eternal quest

so he began another day in his eternal quest for the restaurant at the end of the universe, perched high on a mountain, looking over rainbow toned fog invaded valleys and distant waterfalls swaying in slow motion, akin to satin shawls caressed by wind from shoulders of maidens in their own weekend dreams. and it repeats ad infinitum, for months.

and the days, when turning into night, just during the 5 minutes period when the mighty sol sets into the edge of water, the sea and waves appeared calm, reflecting an electric blue hue, with just a touch of orange sliver all the way from space to me, completing a magical evening dream.

back in time, thousands of revolutions around the sun, in the mighty jungles of panthers and headhunters, the roar of giant waterfalls from tepuis pricking the forever clouds of centuries of rain, he emerged stealthily, in his blue jeans, black t and a nikon. hunting.

first tonight, he has to sleep. to complete his current lucid, for he has stories to tell, too many.

January 30, 2009


corridors, again

The tired days eventually melts away into the deep night. And a new world of dreams emerge like before, ever so often. Sometimes I loose track of time, waking up days before or days in the future. Not knowing the present, all the markers, papers, broadcasts in my travels never echo time or the date. I watch the skies and stars for my direction, my signals.

In one occasion, about a year ago I walked into a long, winding mountain road. A wormhole across the dense jungle all around me, as far as the mind can see. Intermittently waking up, to the rush of the monsoon to close the windows, and in the dream to wind up the car windows. Something soft and warm in the heart about yellow headlights of the car and the shards of raindrops it encounters. All along the route are death stones, more markers of events. A few times I stopped to look at the most vivid ones, the colorful Tibetan prayer flags and sometimes hanging coffins.

The destination emerged out of nowhere at one side of the road, to the right after a corner - I remember now. A narrow pathway carved out of soil and rocks. I drove straight to the majestic building at the end of it. The nearer I was to it, what seemed like the fountain of daylight pouring on the tall gigantic building slowly emerged as hundreds or maybe even thousands of lanterns on every corner of the building.

In another blink - waking up of the thunder, the car disappeared and I was walking along the corridors of the many halls of the building. There are people there, and like all the dreams, I can only see the faces of one or two. Then she came, she was familiar. The one whom i imagined in my many stories, that long dark braided hair. Where did she come from, suddenly the smile and the warmth and assurance. We walked along the halls, still silent and me desperately wanting to ask questions. At one moment she opened a door, where I figured must be at the far end of the building. We walked in into a small cozy reading room. Tables and green retro chairs, something from the 60's. And books on shelves with glass sliders. After what seems like an hour, me still there staring at her and the liberating feel of the room she opened the door again and...asked me to go. I walked out into a hall with shelves as high as twenty or thirty stories, so tall I could not even see the top, the ends. And I turned back to see her smile and close the door. And I started to explore. Walking among countless people, in strange symmetry with the lines of the corridors, with books and reading lamps repeating everywhere I look. All eyes closed.


into the unknown

On some trips, I wished the 400 miles were 4000 miles instead. And the moments melt away from cities to small towns to villages and mountains to dense jungles. Occasional lights shining through solitary huts in the middle of isolation forests. On some of this trips I fall asleep and dream of vast scapes of land cleared, their soil laid barren with movers and machines building giant monuments. One vivid memory was a tower which I could not see the top, looked miles high with flying machines buzzing around it. And all around there was no single instance of a tree or plant. The monument builders sometimes looked at us, the passing buses and trains on a the seemingly never ending road. Their eyes were blank, glowing blue grey story machines of this huge task, erecting something for some god.

On another ride in torrential rain, across mountain ranges all I could see was grey scapes blending in the shades of green, of the giant trees standing majestically still in the crushing rain. And below them were critters and bugs of all sorts, sheltering and yet again looking at us in the vehicles. Fireflies dot the miniature sky each tree creates and they were observing stars and evolving. Maybe the bus was traveling back in time.

Many more days on the roads and paths where humans seems to thread less, time had stopped still until the next sentience pass through awakening such miracle images of monuments and mechanical beings walking lands that doesn't exist anywhere else. I closed my eyes every time, at every moment another creature stares at me. I slip into time travel and wake up in another journey or dimension. Those were the best days.

[#] My dreams are much more interesting than the real world :)
[+] I did write about this dreams in fiction in another story set [The Search For Jim Thompson]

4, 5


Of the many paths that diverge in a night, I've often failed to understand age. Whether we are moving forward, or backward, the gains are without magnitude. What experience we collect, in time will wither. This is more of like moments of sadness, sitting and thinking of how time flows forward, stopping not to salvage the cells. The soul feels insignificant. Picture this, you in time, as the sun rises, pages turn, wind blows memories past shallow lights sprayed on walls. You are not moving, but slowly you are realizing that time is eating the past. The walls crumble, and you notice the quantum's of time. No sound here, just shards of glass on the floor, because you didn't see it breaking and falling. Time jumps at this moment, you have slowed it down to comprehend age. Slowly, flipping doors float away into the ceiling. Vibrating cages of atomic lattices are visible now. As you look deeper than ever before. You have crossed the paths of strings, energy, the Planck seconds maybe. Because there isn't anything more to look at. The you blink. You are back to the bench, at the back of your house. The leaves are still falling, silently.


In another reality, the voice is forcing you to run harder, and each time you look back you see a new world. A new scenery, scapes changing in seconds. Wishing to stop, the dream not letting, you fall forward but not to the ground. Each time you fall, its a new path you're running in. Decades pass, as you realize the seasons decay in every degree of your vision. That's how age leaves you. The lady is still calling you, the laughter of your teachers. Then you see them, the god creatures you think they are. Moments later, are large mechanical vehicles. Complex giant vehicles riding the superhighways in front of you. The roads are gigantic, very much artificial. There are no scapes in every direction. You realize you might have outlived this world. Time suddenly ceased to matter. It is not there, it doesn't appear anywhere. There is this indescribable satisfaction in your heart. As it opens wider than ever before. You could feel the walls vanish, arteries vanish and you belong to the world. Tears roll down your eyes, in front of you is nothing but the singularity. Stars in the sky, roads, endless glass deserts. You sit there feeling the violation winds, you don't know where they come from, there are no clouds, but the wind is there. And looking farther, where no horizons exists, is the dark glittering sky, and bright roads with giant machines. Tears roll freely, and when you wake up to an early daylight sky...your eyes still year for that world.



in another jump the other evening, we landed in a familiar world. i was not alone. she was together with me. this time i managed to see her face. in most lucid's i fail to ascertain their faces. this time it was different. the world was the same from my other dreams. the greenery and the buildings. its either a place of great thinkers, or experiments or its an experiment with life itself. and there are trains everywhere. slow moving coaches, the ends we cant see. she talks with me, gives me directions, but i don't seem to be in any activity. i go to class or whatever gathering that happens, i carry notes that i cant read. and everything is moving. when the evening came, just like a flash, without realizing the day has changed and the evening sky with noctilucent clouds painted the scapes with gray and blue. i noticed still the faces are visible. because they keep talking to me. the path to walk, the roads to take. we walked endlessly. along the way, the road cut through narrow valleys, all lined up with concrete and glass buildings. they are not tall, but it was unique, i can see through the large wall sized windows, the tiny yellow lights inside it, like captured stars. then the students peering through it, walking, watching, all the activities. along the way we pass through carnivals, celebrations with no meaning. probably it had no meaning to me, but all i was doing is walking. stopping occasionally, it felt more like in fixed time periods, i talked to her, and watched her talk to others, and we continued. then there was the train rides that took us to a different part of the small universe that i'm very sure i was in.

[#] this is a repeating dream I've been having this year. the same place, but this is the first time i've interacted with someone. It's not very interesting, flows like a normal dream and naturally, my narration ended because I woke up, I did not try to continue the lucid this time. and luckily I did not forget it either. hoping for more of this world, i think there is much to learn there.

1, 2

review rooms

Being awake in a dream. As this cycle continue, day after day of the same hue of time. I did not realize for the first few chapters, that I was stuck in lucid worlds. It was always the review of days. As I sat on the couch, or lie on the bed watching the clock ticking on the wall and the review light getting dimmer. It was an experience to die for. It was new, as the edges of that review light always gives out sparkles, then tiny cyclotron lines, and I realize it was time itself magnified, visible to my eyes. And in those lines are electrons tracing back the cracks and permeating whole worlds. And then I'm awake again. This time outside a big building, and I see the floors disappear one by one. Occasionally on summer evenings, when the weather is too dry, my sleeps take me to new experiences. During those lucid's I find others in the review room. And I am sucked into chapters of other lives. I wake up from different moments in time and walk out of the house, or the class or office. As the walls get brighter and the chatter of people around me gets audible I realize it was all reviews of futures. I have not been there before. In some rooms I find cameras and browse through photos of new people. In my consequent dreams I find them in the review room, and in other chapters as myself. Morphing through ages, this review rooms become warmer, familiar. I wake up even less, but I build more worlds in each chapter. In some later days I found open walls or open doors in the review rooms. As I try to peek through them, they shut. The dance of light outside the rooms, I observed for fleeting moments. I know I can't see the creator. Maybe, not now.


Cities flare imaginations. how would you feel in this endless world. all around you people, they dance and sleep. there is no end to this pockets of humanity as they replicate themselves infinite. this is a city never ending. miles and miles of road and rails, it goes on till the end never to come. pendaflour madness, as some describe the nights. but the light stops at the edge of the sky, with the heavens glittered with stars. in some towns they call the Edges, telescopes peer for intelligence. noisy skies filled with drones, of neighborhood walled city clans spying on clones of themselves. these cities, with the occasional meandering rivers exist lawless. there are murders, there are wars. all reported by clandestine radios and visuals. almost every street you go, there is a channel of information. some sort of clockwork entropy machine. there were no flags. there are colors, but at nights you can't decipher their photons. illusions all the same, as the find themselves hidden behind shadows of the light horizons. I see them as i walked the streets and sometimes drove on the forever roads. I see them looking back. their feet visible at the edge of the light rays. their eyes glowing white or blue. and those walled cities. they are magnificent. they have voice and are alive. when you look at them its like peering through massive mechanical clocks with great precision gears. yet these are strange cities, I cant find their ends. what end never found, doesn't fulfill the mind. life gets darker in the Edges. I did realize mornings never dawn there. I am in no hurry to leave. these cities are sometimes like home.
[#] What would you do if you dream like me?
[#] Both of this flash fictions have been published in Glossolalia.